Moving On, Never Forgetting
by Zebiax
Summary: With the Anti-Spirals defeated, Yoko and Simon try to enjoy the peace that they and their allies fought so hard to obtain... But how can they truly be at peace with the ones they loved forever gone? YokoxKittanxKamina, SimonxNia, YokoxSimon
1. Painful Sorrow in the Peaceful Present

**_Author's Note:_**

**_This is the first fanfic that I've ever decided to publish on the internet. After seeing the deaths of Kamina, Kittan, and Nia, I thought it only fitting that Simon and Yoko got together. I felt so bad for Simon when he caught Yoko and Kamina together, feeling so small in the shadow of his big brother. Anyway, hope you enjoy, please rate, review, and do whatever else fanfic readers do. Ah, and rated M for language and sexual themes. I also do not own Gurren Lagann or any of the characters within._**

Yoko lay silently on her bed… she had another sleep-less night. Most nights, she'd turn out the light, remember all of the fighting she, the Dai-Gurren Brigade, and all of their allies have gone through, and she'd sleep peacefully. She'd know that the peace they had was a result of all the hard work and determination of all of her friends.

That was most nights anyway… this was one of the nights where her recollection of their battles brought her nothing but pain. Instead of resting in peace and tranquility, she'd be haunted by the ghosts of those she loved. Instead of feeling that sense of pride and accomplishment from the victory they earned for all of the Spiral beings, she felt a deep, dark emptiness wreaking havoc on her very soul.

Kamina… Kittan… both had stolen her heart and died in battle. She knew they chose their path and they fought for the peace that all of the Spiral beings now enjoyed. However… no matter how many times she'd tell herself that on these sleepless nights, she could not dull the roaring ache in her soul. The painful tears threatened to break through her eyes.

She missed them… she missed the feeling of having someone close to her heart… She missed having a strong, caring man warming her soul and banishing the loneliness that pained her on nights like this. The tears flowed slowly down her face, her chest clenching tightly… She didn't want to be alone… she didn't want to be forgotten… she wanted someone with her. She wanted someone strong and warm filling the dark hole that coldly raged within her.

She didn't know how long she laid there crying before she fell asleep… she didn't know how many tears fell from her eyes before her dreams took her… But she didn't care… so long as the dream eased the pain… she didn't care.

Simon sat on the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea. He didn't know why… but he'd had this powerful impulse to come here and just relax. His cruel mind had been haunting him with his memories of Nia. He remembered kissing her… holding her close… only managing to do so once before she ceased to exist.

"Nia…" Simon muttered quietly. He didn't know how much he could carry on. He'd already given the responsibility of maintaining and protecting the universe to Rossiu. The Anti-Spirals were gone. Humanity had its future within its own hands. Simon promised the leader of the Anti-Spirals he'd protect the universe… but he honestly believed he could no longer remain in this shape.

Simon almost felt without a purpose. As a man who knew nothing of his destiny, who realized his destiny, who fought against his destiny, who was betrayed by his destiny, and who triumphed and created his own destiny… he felt as if there was nothing left for him. He had done the unimaginable… just like Aniki said… he used his drill to pierce the heavens.

But now what? He'd fought for freedom of all Spiral beings… and he fought to reach the one that he loved. Now the Spiral beings had peace… and now Nia was gone. What else was he to do? The Dai-Gurren Brigade was no more. All of them had moved forward… seizing the tomorrow that they fought so hard to obtain.

Simon contemplated edging off of the cliff. He had done the unthinkable… maybe now it was just time for him to rest. Time for his inner turmoil to be silenced, and time for his soul to experience the peace he'd fought for. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath of the cool air.

_Simon…_

He knew that voice… He missed that voice. He'd spent dark and lonely nights wishing he could hear that voice again…

"Nia!"

_Simon… how could you even think of leaving this world?_

Nia appeared before him, floating in mid-air… Simon could hardly believe his eyes. "Nia! What are you doing here?" he asked, his heart swelling up just from seeing her once again. She floated forward and held his face in both her hands, and kissed him.

Nia leaned into him, her soft lips touching his, her weight pressing against him, forcing him to lay back against the grass with his feet hanging over the cliff. _Simon… I love you, Simon._ Her lips hadn't left his… her voice echoed within his mind. She wasn't real…

Simon didn't care if she was. His heart warmed at feeling her close again. His soul was at peace with her lips against his. Wherever Nia came from… whatever she was at this very moment… he didn't care. He just didn't want her to leave him with his loneliness again.


	2. Dreams of Loves Lost in the Past Pt1

Simon held Nia close. He missed her so much… hell he missed human contact so much. He missed just having another person close to him. Nia leaned into him; her soft weight against him was sensational.

_Why would you go like this, Simon?_

Simon looked up at Nia. "There's nothing here for me anymore, Nia. The battle is over. All Spiral beings are enjoying their peace. My role in the fate of mankind is finished. This planet no longer needs me to watch over them. Matter of fact, my presence here is dangerous now. The Spiral Nemesis… I am the perfect catalyst for it. Everyone who fought for Earth in that last battle, all of them can control a certain degree of Spiral power. But me? I can control it to degrees that would bring the Spiral Nemesis flying at us faster than anyone can ever imagine."

_Do you think that you'll bring the destruction of all Spiral beings with your power?_

"I don't want to cause their destruction… but their desire for advancement will bring it about themselves. The world was a witness to what I am truly capable of. Were they to find me, they would want to see what my powers can do. Cure disease, raise the dead, grant wishes… who knows what they'd want me to do? Harnessing my abilities in that way is what will bring the Spiral Nemesis."

_You don't __**have**__ to do what they say. You can always refuse to use your powers for them. You can always tell them that your Spiral Power has limits. It works off of your determination and courage. Back when you were fighting, you had a purpose. You fought for mankind. You fought for me. You can tell them that you can't summon such a massive amount of power because you'd have no reason to._

"While that would be a good idea in theory, Nia, there are those that wouldn't understand. There would also be those who would worship my power, and those who would fear my power. It's too unpredictable for me to deem it safe. I promised the Anti-Spiral king that I would keep the universe safe. I don't want to bet that mankind will understand the concept of destruction by evolution."

_E-even so, Simon… why are you so eager to just die? You haven't seen everything yet, or done everything. There's still a lot that you haven't seen. You have to live on… for both of us._

"Nia… I grow weary of this existence. I wander the earth without a purpose. I know we agreed that I'd live on and experience the world for both of us… but I'm so alone. Every time I see something new, I'd wish you were by my side. I'd wonder what you'd say about it. I'd wonder how you'd look at it. I loved your curiosity. Ever since you joined us, you'd ask what something was as soon as you approached something you'd never seen before. Then you'd listen patiently and you'd light up as understanding came."

Nia smiled at Simon. She remembered those days. Everything was so new to her, and every time she learned something new from her friends in the Dai-Gurren Brigade, she'd feel really happy that they were teaching her something.

_Simon… you don't have to be alone. And you don't have to wonder what I'd say or do, I'm not forever gone. I may not be there in the flesh, but you know I'm always with you._

"It's not enough, Nia. I keep telling myself that you live on. Like Aniki and everyone else who we have lost… I tell myself that you're within me and I'll never forget you. But every time I remember, it hurts. It hurts not to see your smiling face again. It hurts not to feel your soft, warm body close to mine. It hurts remembering the feel of your lips against mine and knowing I'll never feel it again."

Nia kissed him then, the feeling absolutely amazing…There was no expressing how much he'd wanted this again. Having Nia close to him, kissing him just like this. Simon licked her lips, his tongue slowly slipping into her mouth and dancing with hers. Simon hugged her close, afraid that in a moment, she'd be gone, and again, he'd be stuck with nothing but his loneliness.

_You're needed, Simon._

Those words stopped Simon and made him pull away, no matter how much he didn't want to. "No, I'm not, Nia. There's not one person on this planet that could possibly need me around. There's no more fighting to be done. I'm a simple warrior with no war to wage."

_Warriors aren't destined to fight forever. When there is no war to be fought, a warrior can return home, and be with one that he loves, and enjoy the peace that he fought so hard to gain._

"I can't be with the one I love while I remain on this Earth, Nia."

_You already are with her. I'm right here. _Nia placed a hand against his chest. _I live on with you. No matter what, I'll always be within you and I'll never truly leave you. And surely I'm not the only one you care about._

Those last words confused Simon. What could Nia possibly mean?

_You still have friends, no? Maybe you don't trust mankind to not fall against the Spiral Nemesis with your presence… but surely you can still be in the company of friends. Viral, Rossiu, Leeron, Gimi, Dari… Yoko…_

Yoko… Poor, poor Yoko. Simon had heard from Gimi and Dari that Kittan had kissed and confessed to Yoko before he sacrificed himself in battle. That was the second time someone who had loved her had died right before her eyes. Simon felt so bad for her… and he felt unworthy to keep her company. Kamina and Kittan were such great men and both died not long after she had been with them. Who was Simon to try and comfort her?

_Believe in yourself, Simon. Yoko does need you._

"I can't do it, Nia. Yoko doesn't need someone like me trying to comfort her or lecture her about forgetting the past. I can't even let go of the past… let alone comfort myself because of your absence."

_Maybe it doesn't matter who it is. Yoko just needs someone close to her… much like you need someone close to you. If not you, then who? Who else could go to Yoko and help her when she's feeling lonely? You know the pain more than anybody else. You understand, and you're the fearless leader of the Dai-Gurren Brigade. There's no man stronger or better to help her get back on her feet._

Simon looked at Nia painfully. "I can't even get back on my own two feet."

Nia sighed and got off of Simon. She walked away from the edge of the cliff and lay on the grass. _You can let me go, you know. I'll be okay._

"Nia… how could you say such a thing?"

_Simon… if it wasn't for you, I'd never have been able to get a chance to live. You opened my box and brought me into a new world, you gave me a new lease on life and helped me see new things and meet new people. Everything that I've learned and come to love is because of you. For that I am eternally grateful. It's for that reason that I can't let you stay the way you are, nor can I let you end your life. It makes me so happy that you're willing to go to those lengths just to be with me, but I can't be so selfish as to let you do that. I want nothing more than to be with you once again, but I can't let you lose your life over it. How could I ever expect or want that much from you? It's unfair of me to even think of such a thing. You gave me my life and you're willing to take your own away just to be with me. _

"It doesn't matter how fair it is. It's something that I want to do, Nia. It's my own decision, and it's one that I know I won't regret."

_I love you too much to let you do this to yourself._

Simon clenched his fist as tears filled his eyes. "Nia…"

_Please Simon… just… don't do this. I can't let you… it'd break my heart._

Nia looked at Simon with sorrowful eyes. He didn't understand. Why did his death mean so much to her? It would mean that they could be closer together again. He could rest in peace with her, in love and happy with each other's company.

"Simon… make love to me." Nia said softly. Her lips moved this time, her voice was her own, instead of an ethereal, celestial sound that echoed around Simon's head. Her dress dissolved and Nia lay there, naked.

What was with that shift in attitude? Simon didn't understand. He'd never understand Nia and the way she thought of things. None-the-less, Simon stripped down and lay next to her, placing a palm against her cheek.

"If you want to be with me, then be with me. Just right now, for this moment, I want you to be with me." Nia said softly. Simon pulled her close and began kissing her.

Nia moaned at the feel of Simon against her. She didn't want to let him go. Despite everything she had just told him, she loved Simon so much because he had saved her and gave her the will to live. As her father disowned her, she was willing to accept the fact that she was going to die cold and alone in some box locked away. But Simon found her, and as he helped her out of her prison, she was introduced to a beautiful world with beautiful people.

Because of Simon… she had found meaning in life, and had come to love the world around her. She also made a lot of friends in the Dai-Gurren Brigade. She owed him so much and she was so happy that he had saved her. She had come to love life and she loved that she got the chance to live it to the fullest. Guame and her father had made her feel like a useless puppet, a mere doll for them to toy with… But because of the Dai-Gurren Brigade… because of Simon…

"Nia…"

Simon's gentle voice cut into Nia's thoughts. "Look at me. Stop thinking so much. I can see it in your eyes. Right now, let's not make this about our circumstances. Let's not make this about our feelings, our obligations, or our fates… the only thing that matters right now is that we're here… together."

Nia's very soul tingled at his words. This was the man she loved. He always knew exactly what to say to inspire her. The way that he looked at her in this moment made her believe that nothing else mattered except this moment they shared together. She closed her eyes, and breathed him in. He was strong, masculine… She missed him so much, and she wouldn't give this one moment up for anything.

Simon and Nia made love for the first time. They'd never had a chance before due to her passing, and although Simon had dreamed of being with Nia like this many nights before, this night felt different. He could feel Nia's essence with everything inside of him. This wasn't merely a dream like all those other times. Nia was here, with him. In his dreams, she was beautiful and gentle, just like she was in life… but now, he could see more of her than just her easily distinguishable personality.

Simon could see the love in her eyes. He could see the joy of having him near. He could see the confusion within her as well. Although he couldn't understand her way of thinking when she was alive, now he could read her like an open book. She was scared to let him go. She loved him and cared for him so much and although she wanted him to move on and keep her in his heart, she didn't want to be forgotten.

Nia wished Simon happiness, but she was scared of what that happiness might cost. Was she going to hold some part of Simon's heart, and well after he had moved on, she'd be sitting, alone within his heart with the one fragment of his love that he has set aside for her? Will he only acknowledge her when he speaks of the battles he's fought alongside her? Would he make her part of a story that he'd tell children and nothing more?

Simon pulled Nia on top of him and positioned himself at her wet core. "Nia… stop thinking. Look at me." Her eyes met his and he smiled at her, he wrapped his arms around her and slowly pushed into her.

As Simon filled Nia, all of her concerns and worries had fled from her mind. The only thing she could think of was the intense pleasure that she was feeling. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes, moaning in pleasure as Simon slowly entered her.

Nia felt so good wrapped around him. Simon could barely contain himself, but this was Nia's first time… so he tried his best to go slow. She was so soft and wet, and the feel of her squeezing down on him made his breath hitch.

Nia moaned softly and slowly pushed against him. Simon gritted his teeth. "Nia… I'm trying to go slow… I don't want to hurt you." He told her breathlessly. She placed a palm against his cheek and smiled at him. "I feel no pain, Simon. It feels so good with you inside me. How could there be any pain… this is a dream after all."

Nia pushed against Simon harder and moaned loudly. "Nngh… shit… Simon, it's so good. More Simon… give me more!" That lustful invitation was all he needed. Instantly, Simon began thrusting up into Nia. The sudden quick movement surprised her, and she gasped as sparks of pleasure skittered across her skin.

Simon screwed Nia with complete abandon, loving the feel of her wrapped around him. In this moment, right here and right now, this was all he needed. The same went for Nia. This, this intimacy… this closeness… becoming one was the last thing that they both needed.

"Nia… I'm close… I'm gonna…"

"Me too Simon! Harder… come with me Simon!"

The two of them were intoxicated with pleasure. Simon filled Nia up, causing her to orgasm as the thick, wet heat that filled her. Breathing heavily and sweating, they held each other close. Simon and Nia both knew. This was the closure they needed. This moment of complete intimacy and rapture was what they needed to move on.

When Nia spoke, her voice was once again celestial… almost angelic.

_We'll always be together, right Simon?_

He nodded at her with a smile. "You'll always be close in my heart. You'll always be a part of me. I would never dare forget about you or leave you behind. Just who the hell do you think I am?"

Nia smiled at the Dai-Gurren Brigade catch-phrase. _I like your smile Simon… I want you to have that smile, all the time. No matter who you're thinking of when you smile, I just want to see you happy. I promise you… so long as you're living happily and living the best you can, I will always be satisfied with having a small portion of your heart._

Simon kissed Nia on the cheek. Even to the end, she was always understanding, caring, and wanted the best for everyone else before herself. He felt such pride in being the man that she had chosen.

_Now, Simon… there's someone else who hasn't smiled earnestly in a long time. She needs you. Go to her… send her my regards._

Simon awoke laying on his back, his feet still peeking over the edge of the cliff. For the first time in a long time, he awoke with a smile and began to travel. Filled with determination, he travelled to speak to a schoolteacher with an aching heart.


	3. Dreams of Loves Lost in the Past Pt2

"Yoko…"

Yoko opened her eyes slowly at the sound of her name. Her mind was foggy, yet she still felt the pain and the tears that dried on her cheeks. Even in sleep she couldn't avoid the aching pain that haunted her on lonely nights.

"Yoko…"

She looked around cautiously. The voice was different this time… she didn't know exactly who called her… but the voices sounded familiar, warm, and confident. Her lonely soul ached at the sound of those comforting voices.

"Who's there?" she called out softly. "What do you want from me? Why am I here?"

"What kind of questions are those, Yoko? You speak with fear. I thought being with the Dai-Gurren Brigade would've taught you better."

Yoko clenched her fist. She didn't fear anything or anyone. She was strong; she could fight on forever and carry the fate of the universe on her shoulders. She had helped to obtain a victory for all Spiral beings. She feared nothing… nothing but the loneliness that tormented her cold soul.

How could she fight an opponent that she couldn't even see? How could she point her rifle at the pain caused by her broken heart? The loneliness was the only opponent she would ever fear… the only thing she was helpless against.

"I'm sorry for my selfishness."

"I'll return it to you ten times."

Yoko's amber eyes widened in shock at those words. Those words… those two voices… the confident, strong, comforting voices, they belonged to the only two men who could ever fight away her loneliness. The two men who could stand against the cold hole in her heart and fill her with warmth.

"Kittan!... Kamina!" Yoko called out in a shock. They stood there… smiling at her. "Who the hell did you think we were?" they answered back in unison. She could hardly believe her eyes. Upon seeing them, her heart thumped loudly in her ears and her body tingled as her every cell danced at the sight of them. She didn't care that they were both there instead of just one. Her heart belonged to both of them, and it rejoiced at the reunion.

Yoko threw herself into their arms, and she started crying softly against them. She didn't care about being foolish or what they'd say. Nothing could ruin this moment for her. The men that had filled her heart were with her again… she never wanted to part with either of them ever again.

"Yoko… do you know why we're here?" Kamina asked her softly.

"It doesn't matter… it just matters that you are. I-I missed you… both of you." She answered softly. Kamina and Kittan softly broke their embrace and looked seriously at Yoko.

"Yoko… you should know this is but a dream." Kittan told her. She didn't listen… she didn't want to. She couldn't bear to hear this from them. Kittan placed his palm against Yoko's cheek and looked deep into her eyes. "You can't sleep forever, Yoko. It just cannot be."

Yoko looked over to Kamina pleadingly. She wanted him to say that they could be together forever… that she could just stay here with them… that they'd never have to leave her ever again. Kamina closed his eyes and shook his head slowly.

Tears began to gather again. Not even an hour into the most amazing reunion with the ones she loved and her dream was being ripped apart… yet again; the two men who held her heart were going to disappear.

Kamina tipped her chin up to look up at him. "Those eyes of yours, dry them. They don't look good all wet and soggy with sorrow. I much preferred them filled with determination and fire."

Kittan smiled at Yoko and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Why are you crying anyway? Surely whatever's gone wrong can't be _all_ that bad."

"What the fuck do you mean? You're dead… both of you. I'll never see you again. And… on nights like this, I need you." Yoko placed a hand against her chest. On nights like this, her heart would ache and she wouldn't stop crying until sleep had taken her. So many nights like this had torn her to shreds. The one thing she wanted was to be together with Kittan and Kamina again. She didn't care which one of them… or if it was both at the same time… she just wanted someone strong and confident by her side, giving her strength.

"Why do you want me, Yoko?" Kamina asked her softly.

"You're so strong, Kamina. You've lived underground most of your life… but when you came to the surface, nothing daunted you. Confidently, bravely, and idiotically… you fought and triumphed over everything in your way. You began a journey that would liberate all humans from the Spiral King."

"Why do you want me, Yoko?" Kittan asked her afterwards.

"I also wanted you for your strength. After Kamina had died… you were ready to step into his shoes. You tried to pilot Gurren with Simon… even though Simon had become weak in the time after Kamina's death. I had my mind on Kamina ever since he died. I had thought about him constantly and the hole he left in my heart had pained me so much. But you, you were strong and were ready to be the Dai-Gurren Brigade's new leader. I had always thought of Kamina, until you kissed me. It was like a heavy wake up call. I came to realize how much you had tried to fight on for everyone's sake. I respected that… and I admired that."

Kamina and Kittan looked at each other and nodded… then asked in unison, "Why don't you want anyone else, Yoko?"

The question surprised Yoko… but she knew how to answer it. "How can I look for anyone else? The two of you mean so much to me, how can I just walk away and leave the memories of you in the dust? I can't just give my heart to another and abandon your memories."

"We didn't die so you could be unhappy and alone."

"You didn't die to be forgotten! I can't just leave you behind and let you dissolve into the past! If I don't hold you close to my heart and I allow myself to be with another, the part of me that cared for you… it'll die. I don't want to lose the part of me that cared for you. I don't want to lose the part of me that looked up to you and admired your courage and strength!"

"Yoko… did we fight to become gods?"

Yoko was taken aback by the question Kittan asked. "Y-you fought for all humans… you wanted them to come to the surface and live freely. You wanted everyone to enjoy peace and not live in fear."

Kittan smiled. "Correct. That goes for you too, you know. We want you to be free from loneliness and we don't want you to be afraid of painful nights like this. We want you to be happy, Yoko, no matter what that may mean. And in the end, we'll always be with you."

Kamina placed a hand against Yoko's chest. "Stop looking at the past when we were with you in the flesh. Hold us in your heart, and look forward to tomorrow. Your eyes are in the front of your head. Face the future with a smile. Seize tomorrow and live in happiness. Seize the tomorrow that we all fought for."

Even as Kamina said that with the confident smirk on his face, her heart was filled with sorrow. Why couldn't they just be with her? Why couldn't this moment last forever? Yoko began trembling as her bottom lip quivered. When she spoke again, she stuttered, "K-Kamina… Kittan… I-I don't think I can do it. The memories of you are the only thing keeping me sane…"

"I know you can, Yoko. Stop doubting yourself. I believe in you… if you really can't believe in yourself… then believe that I believe in you. You can do this." Kamina told her with a thumbs-up and a wink.

Yoko was filled with doubt… but she nodded slowly. She didn't want to let Kamina and Kittan down. They wanted her to be happy… but she thought the only way that would happen was if they came back to her.

Kittan kissed Yoko's neck and Yoko moaned at the feel of his lips against her flesh. Yoko never understood how they could affect her so. Just a moment ago, she was on the brink of tears, contemplating life without either of them… yet now she felt turned on. Kamina slowly began removing her clothes.

"Now that we've spoken… I think we have enough time for me to keep my promise." Kamina said from behind her. "And it's time for me to make up for my selfishness… kissing you and confessing my love for you before sacrificing myself in battle, especially after knowing what had happened with Kamina." Kittan said, kissing her all the while.

Yoko's mind swirled in pleasure as Kittan and Kamina made love to her. They filled her and pleasured her for what seemed like an eternity. Yoko was in bliss, and she never wanted it to end. She just wished she could stay here with them, making love until she could take no more, until the ecstasy was enough to kill her. It'd be one hell of a way to go.

"Yoko…"

Kamina was breathing heavily, while thrusting into Yoko. "You know this is but a dream… when you wake up, this will be a sweet memory… but that's all it will be. After this, you must go forward. Remember us… remember this. We're always with you, just remember that, and move on."

Kittan was thrusting into Yoko's ass, her tight hole squeezing him as she gyrated against the two of them. The pleasure Yoko was feeling clouded her head. Her eyes were slightly glazed as she just kept fucking Kamina and Kittan, writhing in bliss. Despite the euphoria, she heard Kamina… and between her moans, she answered him.

"I'll try… and move on… and try to find someone else."

Kamina smiled. "You don't have to 'try and find' someone, Yoko. Look deep in your heart. There's already someone there. Someone buried deep inside your feelings of loneliness and despair. Go to him. He can take care of you."

Yoko didn't understand. And she couldn't look deep in her heart, much less think while Kittan and Kamina had filled her.

"It's not that hard, Yoko. Just, take good care of him. My little brother."

"Simon?"

"Yes?"

Yoko didn't know how… or when… but below her, the man making love to her, was Simon. She looked behind her, her expression begging for an explanation from Kittan…only to find that he was gone. Yoko turned back to Simon, bewildered… "Simon… I… I…"

Simon smiled up at her, and pulled her close to him. "You're so cute when you're about to come." Yoko's body was on fire… and Simon was thrusting in and out of her so fast… She was so close…

"I love you… Yoko."

"Simon!"

Yoko jolted awake, covered in sweat. What a hell of a dream that was. What the fuck had caused that?... Whatever it was, it had her insanely hot and bothered. She had actually came in her panties from being screwed by Kamina, Kittan… and Simon.

Getting out of bed, she looked out her window to the night sky. What was she going to do?

_**Author's Note: Currently having a little trouble with what should happen next. I've honestly got this whole story-line plotted out for a whole bunch of chapters, but I also kind of want it to end happily nice and early. What to do, what to do?**_

_**Anyhow... I rewrote the dream chapters a handful of times. Every time I read it over I felt totally nasty... like I was writing a script to a porn film. Hopefully the final product wasn't too fuck-fest-focused. Lemme know what you guys think!**_


	4. Healing Hearts Moving to the Future

_**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay... I actually took some time to re-watch the series and kind of re-evaluate Yoko's and Simon's relationship. Through it all, I actually ended up making this chapter a lot longer than I intended, but none-the-less, I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you guys think. I'm thinking of adding to this because I really love Yoko and Simon together, but I'm not 100% sure of where to go from here.**_

It was hopeless… Yoko couldn't get any sleep. Once she awoke from that crazy dream, she'd been pacing and pondering all the night through. What intrigued her most was how vivid the dream was. Normally dreams are elusive and hard to recall, but with this dream, she remembered experiencing it with every single cell of her body.

Sighing, she recalled seeing and feeling Simon close to her within that dream. Yoko softly shook her head and rubbed her temples. What could she possibly have been thinking, dreaming of Simon in that way? Was she going crazy? Was she that sad and alone that she had insane dreams of making love with her closest friends? Who was next? Rossiu? Viral?... Yeah, she was going insane.

Why did she have to feel this way? Why did Kamina and Kittan have to leave her behind, all scared and alone? Yoko liked to believe she was a good person, that she was a brave fighter, confident, and had a pretty caring and considerate personality. Did she not deserve to be happy? She had fought so hard… everyone had… but now everyone could enjoy their peace… except for her. She couldn't feel the peace that she had fought so hard to get. Kamina's and Kittan's ghosts still haunted her. The 'what if's and the 'could have been's have plagued her night after night and she was tired of it.

A soft knocking sounded at her door. Yoko looked at the clock, then at the door, confused. It was damn near three in the morning, who in the hell could be bothering her and what was so important that they had to come to her in this moment, especially when she was in this state? Yoko sat in the darkness, staring at the door. She couldn't answer it. No one could see her like this. No one should even be up this late at night.

The knocking returned, a little harder, followed by a soft calling, "Y-Yoko? Are you there?"

Her breath caught at the sound of Simon's voice. What was he doing here? What could he want from her at this ungodly hour? What are the odds that he'd come see her right after the dream she had just had? Yoko bit her bottom lip softly, pondering whether she should really let him in or let him believe that she had gone to bed for the night.

Maybe the loneliness was getting to her, maybe the dream she'd just had made her want to double-check her relationship with Simon, or maybe she was just curious as to why he was here of all places… she didn't know for sure… but she slowly walked over to the door, unlocked it, and smiled warmly up at him. "It's been a long time, Simon."

Simon smiled back at Yoko and wasted no time in pulling her into a friendly greeting hug. Yoko returned the hug and her insides fluttered a little at having him close to her. Shaking the feeling, she asked him what he was doing here and why he was paying a visit so late.

"I came to see you, Yoko." He said matter-of-factly. "Travelling on your own can get lonely… I figured I'd pay you a visit. That's what friends are for, right?" Simon said as he stepped into her small home and made himself comfortable on a couch in her living room. Yoko's heart thumped. Simon had a thing with timing. Simon had always conquered all odds and fought the impossible… and he always managed to do it with a millisecond to spare. This had been no exception. She'd been having one hell of a night, and here he was…

"I guess you're right… but… three in the morning, Simon. Why so late? I could've been fast asleep." She told him with fake irritation. He just laughed softly and apologized. "When you just wander around, you really lose track of time. The only times I really know are day and night. I wasn't sure how late into the night it was, but I figured I'd just give it a shot and come back tomorrow if you didn't answer. Sorry if I woke you."

Yoko told Simon everything was fine and she was really glad to see him. He nodded and began talking about what has been going on lately.

"So you're a teacher now, how's that working out for you?"

"Uh… um… it's all right, I guess. These kids are our hope for the future. I love being able to teach them about all of the things that have happened."

Simon chuckled softly. "You know, I have to admit, I thought the job wouldn't suit you at all. I honestly didn't think you'd have the patience to teach kids. You could barely put up with me or Aniki's attitudes when we first began travelling together. You're great with responsibilities and doing what needs to be done, but a nurturing teacher? Forget it!"

Yoko laughed softly. Simon was right. She did really want to teach kids and take care of them, helping them learn so that they would have a bright future… but there have been quite a few occasions where Yoko wanted to take her rifle to her head in mere frustration of dealing with their childish antics.

"I'm managing though, and I love it. I'm really happy and enjoying myself. Just like everyone else. We finally made it, and it's all thanks to you, Simon." Yoko smiled even though deep down she knew it was a lie. She didn't want Simon to know what she was going through. The last thing she needed was that sense of pity from him. The pity didn't make anything better.

Simon looked intently at her, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you really happy, Yoko?" The words echoed in Yoko's head. Her chest ached to hear him say that. This was it… he was inviting her to tell him everything that she had felt. He was giving her an opportunity to share her burden. He could see right through her fake smile… she knew it. But Simon, always considerate of others, was asking for an invitation to help her.

What could the harm in it be? She trusted Simon. What harm could there be in sharing her pain with him? Maybe releasing some of it and sharing it would help to ease the pain. Yet, if she showed Simon her weakness… showed him her vulnerability… what consequences could come from that? Yoko had always worn a mask over her dangerous emotions. She didn't want the look of pity or scorn from her comrades, so she hid away all the feelings that made her feel weak. Should she show Simon the things that made her weak… the things that scared her?

Yoko shook her head softly to herself, her mind set. She couldn't do this. She couldn't bear to have anyone look at her and pity or judge her for her weaknesses. Especially not Simon… She wanted to continue on the way everyone knew her, the pin-point accurate sniper who got the job done with little distractions.

She smiled again softly at him. "Yeah, I am. Every night I smile thinking of the kids I've taught, seeing the night sky outside my window, and my hopes are as numerous as the stars." Her voice was steady and cheerful. She wasn't completely lying. Many nights she did feel that way, just not every night.

Simon continued looking intently at her, then shrugged and sighed. He leaned back on her couch and closed his eyes. "You're a much stronger person than I." He said softly. These words took Yoko by surprise. What could he possibly mean?

"I wouldn't say that Simon. It wasn't me who fought against the Spiral King and the Anti-Spirals to win freedom for us all. It wasn't me who led the Dai-Gurren Brigade into hopeless battles with nothing but grit and fighting spirit. And although I fought so hard to protect the people I cared about, I wasn't able to save them like you had." Her soul ached at that last remark. She was just trying to comfort Simon and support him, but as she said those words, pain stabbed at her. She wasn't able to help Kamina or Kittan. She even promised Kamina she'd watch his back, yet he had died while she stood by the sidelines, helpless. Simon was definitely stronger than her. Based on sheer willpower and fighting spirit, he fought on and was able to rescue Nia from the Anti-Spirals, despite the fact that she was doomed to disappear.

"That may be the case. I may have been the one who led battles that decided the fate of humanity, but in the end, I am just a hypocrite. I fought for the future of man-kind. I fought to bring happiness and peace to everyone. I fought so that people could look forward to the future, not look back on the past and be grateful they survived another day of a harsh and cruel reality. Yet, now that the war is over... now that we all have peace and we're able to build for a better future, I travel alone, and I do nothing but dwell on the past."

Those words struck a chord that resonated with Yoko's soul. How many nights has she spent now, looking up at the night sky and dwelling on the past? Yoko smiled sadly at Simon, wanting to soothe the pain in his voice. "Even though we fought for the future, it's okay to think about the past sometimes. Although we were always fighting and times were hard, some of my favorite memories are back in those days, when the Dai-Gurren Brigade stood against all odds."

Simon looked up at her with his brow furrowed. "I do remember the good times… I'll never forget being with everyone. But it's not looking back at the good times that bother me so much. What bothers me are the things that we've lost. I can't let go of them. So many times, I think back... and I can't help but regret a lot of the things that have happened."

Yoko got up from her chair and set next to Simon. She leaned against his side and placed her head against his shoulder. She felt nervous and awkward doing this, but she wanted to be close to Simon. She didn't know if he was reading her every emotion or if they just happened to be on the same wavelength... but everything he was saying reflected exactly how she felt. Hearing him speak about his pain sent shivers through her, and she needed to be near someone or she wouldn't be able to calm her turbulent emotions.

Simon placed his arm around Yoko's shoulder, and pulled her close next to him. He wasn't sure why he did it… but he was glad that he did. To have Yoko this close to him brought back feelings that he'd long since forgotten. Simon came here to be close to Yoko, see if she was doing okay, and to try and talk to her if she wasn't.

Although she admitted her happiness, Simon saw something in her eyes. A kind of deep sorrow coated with a strong sense of pride. Simon knew Yoko. He knew that she wanted to be strong and live up to everyone's expectations of her as a great, confident soldier who was part of the legendary Dai-Gurren Brigade. She didn't want people to see the pain that she was feeling… especially not the great Simon the Digger.

Simon couldn't accept that. He admired Yoko as a great ally… and the fact that she felt weak, scared, and alone just proved to him that she was just like everybody else, and it wouldn't deteriorate his respect for her one bit. The only way he knew to make that known to her… was to show her that he felt weak.

"A lot of people may consider me a hero… but am I really? So many people have seen me as the noble leader of the Dai-Gurren Brigade who saved all Spiral beings… but at times, I can't help but think about how misguided they are. I was the leader… and as a leader, do you know what I did? I led honorable, great men straight to their graves."

Yoko's amber eyes widened as Simon said that. She shook her head. Simon couldn't think like this. He was Simon. He was Kamina's successor. He held no fear or regrets. He pierced the heavens, defied all logic, and conquered the impossible. "Simon, you can't say that. It's not true. Everything that's happened… even those who were lost, it was for a cause. Everyone that's fought and those that have died all knew they fought for a better future, and should they meet their fate fighting for the future, so be it."

"Why didn't I die, Yoko? Why couldn't it have been me? Lagann… Spiral Power… everyone believes I was endowed with such a great gift… but in the end, did that gift do any good for Aniki? Did it do any good for Nia? For Kittan?"

Yoko placed a palm softly against Simon's cheek and made her look him in the eye. The pain and regret that she saw in his eyes filled her with worry. "Simon, what's the matter? Why are you saying these things?... You're the last person that I'd ever expect to doubt yourself or regret what's happened. After Kamina died… you practically fell apart. But in the time when it mattered most, when we were imprisoned and soon to be executed by Guame, you dug us out. From that moment forward, you fought with a resolve and passion that I couldn't believe. What's changed?"

Simon sighed. "I have no purpose."

"What do you mean, 'no purpose'?"

"Now there's no reason for me to exist anymore. We have peace, the war is over. I no longer have a battle to fight and even if I did, I have no one to fight for… What am I to do? All I've done since Nia's disappeared is aimlessly wander around the world."

Yoko didn't know how to answer him. She couldn't find any words. What was she supposed to tell him? 'Stop dwelling on things like that. Don't worry about a purpose or fighting… just live for you'? Like she could tell him that shit. She couldn't even get past her own ghosts.

Sighing, she gave it a shot. "Hey, Simon… you know it'd really hurt Kamina to see you struggling like this. It worries me seeing you like this. I know you say you don't have a purpose and you have no battles to fight… but you know… living should be your purpose. You may not feel like it… but everyone sees you as a symbol for freedom and hope. Everyone sees you as the one who brought us all out of the gutter and gave us freedom to live as we please. You don't have to fight anymore. You just have to live. Live for all of us. Live for those who have died. Live for yourself… Live for me. I…"

Yoko paused and blushed… until this moment, she'd never considered just how important Simon was to her. "I don't think I'd be able to go on if you'd given up, Simon. Ever since Kamina passed on, you were the one person who stood tall and truly moved forward. All of us just fought with a mask to hide our pain. You didn't hide your pain. You felt it, you wore it, and you conquered it. Y-you can't give up now, Simon. A lot of people still depend on you… Myself included."

Simon smiled and kissed the top of Yoko's head. He had come here to comfort Yoko, yet here he was, the absolute reverse being done. Yoko had inspired the will to live once again. Not that he was surprised… she had always been able to get into his head and heart.

The kiss was so out of place and so unexpected that Yoko blushed even harder as she looked up at Simon, a little flustered and confused. Simon just smiled at her and pulled her closer to him with the arm that was wrapped around her shoulder. He then slowly began to caress her arm.

Simon's caress was so gentle and soothing, and his strong arm around her and his body against her felt firm and powerful. It felt really intimate and Yoko's head began to spin.

"Thank you, Yoko…"

Yoko could only manage a slight nod. Simon looked up at the ceiling and smiled. All this time had passed and so much had happened… and he was still in love with her.

"You know… I think I've loved you from the day we've met."

Yoko had been content just sitting there, close to Simon, his gentle touch soothing her. She had liked being close to him, and in the moment, she never wanted him to leave her side… but those words jerked her out of her little fantasy land and shocked her to her core.

"W-what did you say?"

"Ever since we've met, Yoko… I've loved you. I-I think it may have been just a childish crush on the first woman to ever treat me as something more than a pathetic mole-rat… but my feelings were there none-the-less. Back then, I was always so afraid. I felt useless… I was just a kid from Jeeha village who used his drill to work for food, day by day… yet I was hauled to the surface, into a world where I'd fought for my very life… I-I don't know why Aniki had expected so much from me… I was just some snot-nosed kid with a drill and a robot."

Yoko's heart softened at hearing this. Guilt overtook her. Back in those days, when Kamina had explored the surface, dragging Simon along, she had thought of him as nothing but a little kid as well. He was so scared of everything and was ready to run from even the slightest sense of danger. He didn't have the confidence and courage that Kamina had. She treated him kindly because he was Kamina's brother, and she loved Kamina. Deep down, she knew that Simon wasn't cut out for the surface, and she knew it was only a matter of time before Simon got himself killed.

"B-but… I couldn't stay that way. Especially after meeting you, I knew I couldn't stay that way. I lived in fear all of my life… because I'd lost my parents. I was sick of the fear. I was sick of not knowing whether an earthquake would kill me tomorrow. I wanted to come to the surface, and I wanted to change… Up until now, I had fooled myself into believing that Aniki was the one who gave me courage, and made me stronger… but that was a lie."

"Simon…"

"The truth is… it was you who made me stronger. Lagann, and my Spiral Power… it works through my emotions. I believed that Aniki's confidence in me and his insistence on me believing in myself had given me the resolve to fight… But it was you, Yoko. The first time we fought Viral… when I had seen Aniki being beaten… I thought the situation was hopeless… until you caught my attention. It wasn't Aniki's words passed by your lips that had brought me to fight… it was just you. I realized… I had to help Aniki. I knew Aniki wouldn't give up, and if he were to die, everyone would be defenseless against Viral. Everyone would die… You would die… and I could not allow that."

Yoko couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that Simon cared for her as part of the Dai-Gurren Brigade and respected her as an ally… she may have even realized that he'd had some stronger feelings for her deep down inside him… but she had no idea his feelings could have surpassed the bond he shared with Kamina.

"When we fought to capture Dai-Gunzen… I had lost myself in the battle. I couldn't seize control like everyone had planned… I… I saw you kiss Aniki the night before. I couldn't focus. You were everything I had fought for, but you had picked Aniki. I can't say I was really all that surprised, though. He was everything I wasn't. He was everything I was trying so hard to be. Even so… I couldn't summon the willpower to control Dai-Gunzen because I couldn't get you off of my mind. It wasn't until Aniki punched me that I realized that it didn't matter. Aniki had given me the confidence to fight, but you gave me the resolve. I fought because I wanted you to be safe, and I wanted you to be happy. If you were happy with Aniki, so be it. I could fight on whether you chose me or not… But then, I had failed."

"You… failed?"

"Aniki died that battle, because I was a fool. I had wanted to protect you, Aniki, and your happiness… but just as I decided to do that, I had already failed. Because I couldn' keep my head… because I couldn't keep my motives straight… I had put Aniki in a situation which got him killed. The Dai-Gurren Brigade lost its fearless leader. You had lost the man you loved. Aniki, who was the key to your happiness… was gone… and it was all my fault."

Yoko's heart stopped at those words. Simon was pouring every bit of himself out to her right now… and it was a lot to take in. "Kamina's death wasn't your fault, Simon. He died a warrior, fighting for all of us. His death was noble, it was nobody's fault, and he won't be forgotten." Yoko tried to convince Simon… and herself. Saying those words stung her heart.

"That's bullshit, Yoko… You don't believe that and you fucking know it. You treated me coldly after his death. I couldn't say I blamed you. You were probably thinking it was my fault as well. Back then, I could see the hatred in your eyes. Because I was a snot-nosed punk who couldn't fulfill my role in battle, Aniki had to sacrifice himself to set things straight."

Guilt ate at her. He was not a single word short of the truth. For a while after the capture of Dai-Gunzen, she hated him because of Kamina's sacrifice. She had known what it was like to sacrifice people and keep living on. In the never-ending war against the beastmen, Ritona village had lost a lot of lives. She was used to losing her friends in battle... but that wasn't the same with Kamina.

Kamina had left her with a shattered heart and an empty promise to "return her kiss ten times over". Yoko despaired over those words. She'd never know. She'd never see Kamina again... the dark, painful hole in her heart... she believed Simon was to blame. She'd even catch herself wishing it was Simon who had died. She'd been assuming that Simon would die quickly if he stayed on the surface since the beginning. That was her grieving though… she was devastated and she dealt with her loss in the wrong way by mistreating Simon. "I-I did believe that for a while, Simon… and I'm sorry… it was wrong of me."

"No, it wasn't. His death was my fault. I lost Aniki, the key to your happiness. I accepted your hatred, it was deserved. I just wish I could've made you happy somehow. I knew your hatred stemmed from the sense of despair from Aniki's death… I wanted to get rid of that despair… But I didn't know how… In the following battles with the enemy Ganmen, I tried fighting like Aniki. I pushed Gurren Lagann as much as I could and destroyed anything and everything that I could. I had thought that maybe I could make you happy if I became like Aniki, I had to get stronger, and I had to get better... but then I lost control of Lagann... it wouldn't listen to me anymore. It was then that I had given up. I could never become like Aniki... nor could I ever replace him in your heart. I couldn't even control a stupid fucking robot."

The very air flowed with Simon's sadness and pain. Yoko could almost feel his utter despair as he spoke. All this time, Simon had gone through so much… and at the time, he was just a boy. Yoko's heart ached for him.

_All this time, everything he's done… he tried to do it for me. Back then, I thought he was nothing but a snot-nosed punk. I even blamed him for the death of the one I loved… Yet all this time…_

"Why haven't you told me any of this until now?"

"I was… too ashamed. I had caused the death of my own brother, which caused you an immense amount of grief and pain. Then, I had tried to be like him, with the stupid mindset that I could replace him for you. Losing control of Lagann had been the final straw for me. I couldn't be like Aniki, I couldn't replace him in your heart, and I couldn't make you happy. In the end, no matter how hard I tried… I was just a useless mole-rat from Jeeha village, digging was the only thing I was good for. I buried and drowned my feelings for you… What good would they have been? By telling you that I'd loved you, I'd probably just burden you more. I couldn't do that."

Tears began to well up in Yoko's eyes. How could she have been so selfish? She looked down on Simon, she treated him coldly because he was only a shadow of a person when compared with Kamina. When Kamina had died… she had thought nobody hurt at the loss more than she did… but Simon, he bared the death of his brother, the hatred of the woman he loved, and the failure of being unable to become something more. All of this, and he was just a little kid…

"Simon… I'm so sorry. I-I had never known. I had been so blinded by my own suffering that I didn't stop to think about how you were handling things… when I saw you, all depressed and unable to move on, I thought you were weak… that we should have just returned you to Jeeha village."

The hurt look in Simon's eyes stung Yoko to her very core. Everything Simon was telling Yoko astonished her… but everything added up. Everything she had heard from him had reflected his behavior. She had known the truth now, and she understood Simon on a level she couldn't believe. Now that she had known what he's struggled through, she felt like such a total bitch for ever looking down on him.

What if they had brought him back to his village? If Yoko had had her way, Simon would've been back in Jeeha, digging tunnels… and who knows where everyone else would have been? In the end, despite all of the pain and suffering, despite the weight of mankind's hope on his shoulders, despite the impossible odds, Simon had moved forward. Not only had he moved forward, but he brought down the Spiral King, and eventually, the Anti-Spirals, carrying everyone on his back.

"If you couldn't control Lagann… and you didn't believe you were good enough to be like Kamina… what drove you forward? When Guame caught us and scheduled our execution, why did you start digging to set us free?"

"Nia. She gave me the will to move on. I had given up on you, on the Dai-Gurren Brigade, on myself… I had given up on everything… until I had met Nia. I don't know what it was about her, but she taught me something I'd never forget. She taught me that I didn't need to be good enough for you, and I didn't need to be good enough to become like Aniki. I only needed to be good enough for myself. It was then that I started digging through Guame's prison cell. It wasn't about you, it wasn't about Aniki, and it wasn't about the Dai-Gurren Brigade. I was sick and tired of not being good enough. I didn't give a shit if nobody supported me, I was not going to get executed by a beastman… I was going to become something greater. I was going to do the unimaginable. I was going to defy all common sense and conquer the impossible. I became Simon the Digger."

Yoko sighed to herself. Nia had been there to support Simon when he needed someone the most. Nia had strengthened the heart of a fragile young boy who became the most strong-willed and confident warrior that anyone has ever known. Yet again, Nia had given Yoko another reason to feel envy.

Tears slowly ran down Yoko's cheeks as she stood up, took Simon's hand, and pulled him up from the couch and into a hug. Simon wrapped his arms around her and held her gently. Yoko cried against Simon's shoulder. Yoko didn't want to let him go. He felt so good holding her so close. His touch was strong, yet comforting. She wanted nothing more than to accept Simon's love, and let him close the aching hole in her heart… but yet…

"Thank you, Simon… but I can't be with you."

Simon looked into Yoko's eyes, his expression confused. After everything Simon had told her, she couldn't possibly accept his love.

"Simon… I can't say that I've fully let go of Kamina or Kittan. I cared about them so much, no matter what, I'll be thinking of them. You deserve more than a half-hearted relationship. After everything I've put you through, I'll be damned if I treat you as a mere replacement. You deserve more than me, Simon. You deserve to be with a woman who will see only you. Not some teary-eyed tom-boy sniper who won't let go of the past. You've done the impossible, Simon. Although you were just a kid from Jeeha village who did nothing but dig… you became the man whom all of humanity depended upon. You deserve to enjoy your peace with someone better than me, who has done nothing but cause you pain." She said softly, and looked down, completely ashamed. "I'm sorry Simon."

Simon placed his palm against Yoko's cheek and forced her to look at him, wiping the tears from her eyes with his thumb. "It's okay, Yoko. After all this time, I know for sure that I want you. I know for sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care if you have Kittan or Aniki on your mind. I want to do my absolute best to make you happy. I don't want to sit here and hear you tell me that I deserve more than you and you're not good enough. I know what it's like to not measure up to expectation. You're more than good enough, and you're what I want. Fuck what I deserve."

Simon's words were cutting straight through Yoko's soul. She wanted a reason to decline. "A-After everything that's happened, I can't let myself use you like a stepping stool to get over the people I've loved. I need to get past Kamina and Kittan by myself… maybe then we can share a life together… okay, Simon?"

Simon smiled softly. "You don't have to do it by yourself, Yoko. I didn't do it by myself. I had Nia. I love you, Yoko. I want to see you smile… a real smile… one where your beautiful, amber eyes light up with the passionate fire I fell in love with seeing."

Yoko's breath hitched. When the hell had Simon suddenly become so god damn charming? She shook her head again softly. She couldn't let Simon do this. She couldn't handle being in a relationship just yet. She wasn't ready, and she didn't want…

Simon gave Yoko a confident smirk which made her insides flutter. He then pulled her close and kissed her… _that_ made her insides melt. It was gentle, yet passionate… and her head began to spin from the feel and taste of Simon. She almost whimpered as Simon pulled away from her.

"I believe in you, Yoko. And I know you believe in me. Believe in me, who believes in you, and I'll be by your side until you believe in yourself. I'll be by your side forever."

Her voice breathy and her eyes full of desire, she muttered, "Y-you win.", before pulling him in for another heated kiss.


End file.
